I'm probably not being the greatest parent in the world right now. As I type this, Ezra's angry wail has subsided to a desperate moan as he remains in bed until 6:30 am. Every now and then, my heart aches a little as he cries out for "Ga-ga," his sad call for me.
But at some point, we had to put an end to his increasingly earlier risings.
In the past, I would grab a pillow and a blanket and lay down on the floor of his room, which would garner thirty more minutes of shut eye for my infant son.
Today, however, I am trying something new.
If he wakes up before 6 am, he stays in bed until 6:30 am. After 6 am, and we'll get up. This morning, he started crying at 5:30 am, a time when he could (and should) have easily kept sleeping. But he hears a noise or loses his pacifier (we only let him use it at night), and he decides it's time to get up, despite the darkness of the night that continues to surround him. And the earlier he gets up, the more tired he is throughout the day, which means he's crankier. So sleep is good. He needs it. Or he at least needs to learn to lay in bed and chill for awhile.
You see, in another life, we'll call it B.E. ("Before Ezra"), I considered myself a morning person. I loved to get up before Nell and sip a cup of coffee in the dark stillness before dawn. I would enjoy the quiet solitude of the morning, slowly beginning my day. Even in the meaty part of my training, when the alarm would shrill at 3:30 am for a long run, I would give myself 45 minutes to come out of hibernation, gently resurfacing from my slumber.
And then, twenty or so months ago, we were blessed with the arrival of Ezra, who has changed my life in so many positive ways. I am a better person because of him, and I love him more than anything.
But I lost my mornings. In fact, I came to dread them. I almost, but not quite, hated the mornings.
So, I'm trying to get just a small piece of them back. For Ezra's sanity, for my sanity, for the sanity of mankind.
Either that, or I'm just a bad, selfish parent.
But hey, I am taking the little dude on a short, 4 mile run when he gets up, so we'll have a chance to bond and hopefully shake off any permanent damage.